time...

i'm wondering why everything is constituted by time. it seems as though we allow our lives to be ruled by the inevitible ticking of the clock. everything around us is reduced to a schedule. we eat not when we're hungry but when its mean time, we know what time our favorite show is on and what needs to be done so that we can be with so and so to watch it, i live my life looking forward to the weekend and in every moment longing for a time that is not ruled by to-do lists and deadlines. as the end of the semester approaches i find that i have not been very dilegent with my lists and now am drowning in a torential sea of papers and due dates.

but there's more to this life yeah? (i've noticed that i've recently started adding yeah to the end of my sentence, a cross cultural experiment combining the 90's equivilant of yes and the inflective nature of the canadian 'eh?'....odd i know). i digress. there's more right? there has to be. there has to be more to what i'm doing then writing papers, having meetings, eating three square meals a day (okay mom i only eat two), and seeing how long i can stretch the latest batch of laundry!

and then there's love. i've recently been asking God to help me love people more. saturday i'm flying to haiti as an "experiment" in love. i have no idea what i'll be doing, no agenda, no motive, no expectations or alternative selfish motives...just love. but what kind of love could i possibly offer the people i come in contact with when i am in a current state of being emotionally, spiritually, and honestly physically drained? why have i chosen to spread myself so thin that i am now as vibrant as a giant glass of sweet tea in which all the ice has melted and all that remains is a pitifull glass containing mere hints of the once gloriously apetizing substance. when will we truly "cease striving and see God"? check this out from psalms 46:9-11

He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth;
he breaks the bow and shatters the spear,
he burns the shields with fire.

"Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth."

The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.

the NASB translates verse 10 to say "cease striving, and know that i am God." and now to those of us who have to many to-do lists, to many papers to write, diapers to change, meetings to attent, relationships to attend to...may we turn to God, cease our striving, and live in the awarness of his God-ness!