tim

wedding

2008-01-06T19:33:00.000-06:00

did a friend's wedding this weekend. it was in this historic village thing...so so cool!

meh-wij, is what bwings us togeh-wer

2007-12-23T20:03:00.000-06:00

so yes, i see it, my last post was august. sorry. my brother removes me from his 'favorite blog list' list if i don't post within a month, so i know one person that is not reading this! but oh well. well since my last post was about my engagement i thought it appropriate to make my next one about meh-wij.

a week ago today i married joanna, or she married me, whichever is more befitting. not much to talk to you about yet except i'm a husband and a dad all in the same day. pretty cool deal if you ask me! (joanna is sitting next to me as i type this and she's hounding me for saying 'not much to talk about yet'). when i said that i actually meant that there is not a whole lot to 'report' as of yet...no life-changing stories or hilarious antics. (she's still hounding me...she just said 'what you've had sex and there's no life-changing stories to talk about) *Joanna, please leave the bedroom talk OUT OF MY POST!!!!*

ok, moving on. i thought i would quickly give you my top 5 list:

tim's top five most-looking-foward-to-things-in-the-near-married-future list

5. us not having to pay two rents any more! i mean good lord!
4. ************** sorry no more bedroom talk i promised!
3. burrito nights (they are some good burritos!)
2. more kids, besides we already have a babysitter in the family (thanks madisyn!)
1. growing old with my old lady (really she is), but all kidding aside i can't wait to see the journey that lies ahead for us and all the crazy stuff we're going to get ourselves into!

well, we are in the DR right now, so it's kinda lame that i'm sitting here on the computer blogging about my life when there is sun to soak up, sand to walk on, and cappuccinos to delight ourselves with! till april...or sooner if you're lucky

2007-08-12T21:22:00.000-05:00

SO...BIG NEWS....I'M ENGAGED. NOW, I'VE ALREADY RECEIVED SOME INTERESTING VOICEMAILS STATING SOMETHING AROUND THE FOLLOWING.... "SO TIM, I BARELY KNEW YOU HAD A GIRLFRIEND AND NOW YOU'RE SENDING ME A TEXT MESSAGE SAYING YOUR ENGAGED!!!"... TO YOU (JEREMY) I SAY HA. I REALIZE THAT A TON OF YOU THAT MAY BE READING THIS MIGHT BE SHOCKED AND SURPRISED, BUT I HOPE THAT YOUR SHOCK AND SURPRISE IS MERELY ENTHUSIASTIC SUPPORT AND EXCITEDNESS! SO FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT WE HAVEN'T CHATTED WITH IN A WHILE I'LL FILL YOU IN....

IN DECEMBER I WENT WITH MY BROTHER TO GATLINBURG TN. HE WAS LEADING WORSHIP AT WINTER EXTREME CAMP THAT STARTED THE DAY AFTER CHRISTMAS. ON THE 27TH, I RAN INTO THIS COOL VIBY CHICK THAT CAUGHT MY EYE. THE NEXT DAY (THE LAST DAY OF THAT PARTICULAR EVENT) WE HAD A SINGLE CONVERSATION THAT CONSISTED MAINLY OF "HEY SO I WANNA GO OVER SEAS FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE AND STUFF....OH REALLY, ME TOO" (IT WAS A LITTLE MORE IN DEPTH, BUT YOU GET THE GIST). SO AFTER THAT CAMP I COULDN'T SHAKE THIS CONVERSATION AND MORE IMPORTANTLY THIS GIRL FROM MY MIND. I REMEMBERED THE NAME OF THE OUTDOOR WILDERNESS CAMP SHE WORKED FOR AND WENT TO THEIR SIGHT TO TRACK HER DOWN. I COULDN'T REMEMBER HER NAME (SORRY) BUT I FOUND HER PICTURE AND LUCKILY THERE WAS AN EMAIL ADDRESS. SO I EMAILED, SOMETHING TO THE EFFECT OF "HEY, I'M NOT A STALKER, BUT I DIG YA"....HA.

WELL SO WE STARTED EMAILING EVERY DAY STARTING AT THE BEGINNING OF JANUARY AND EVENTUALLY UPGRADED TO PHONE CONVERSATIONS AND TEXT MESSAGES (LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS ARE A DRAG SOMETIMES!!!!). THEN OVER SPRING BREAK SHE HAD A LAYOVER IN DALLAS SO WE WENT ON TWO DATES (ONE EACH LAYOVER) AND STARTED TO TALK MORE ABOUT RELATIONSHIP AND STUFF. IT WAS EASTER WEEKEND WHEN I DECIDED TO GO UP AND VISIT HER, HER FRIENDS, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY HER MADISYN (JOANNA'S ELEVEN YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER). IT WAS HERE THAT WE DECIDED THAT THIS RELATIONSHIP WAS EITHER SINK OR SWIM AND WE HAD NO CHOICE BUT TO BE BALLS TO THE WALL IN IT. EVEN FROM THE BEGINNING AS SOON AS I FOUND OUT ABOUT MADISYN, I KNEW THAT I COULDN'T MERELY "TRY THIS RELATIONSHIP ON" TO SEE IF IT FIT, BUT FROM THE BEGINNING IT REQUIRED SOME SORT OF SPECIAL COMMITMENT THAT RESTED OUTSIDE OF MYSELF AND MY OWN LOGIC, AND SOLEY ON THE FAITH AND BELIEF THAT GOD WAS LEADING US IN OUR JOURNEY TOWARDS EACH OTHER.

THE NEXT TRIP WAS OVER MOTHER'S DAY, WHICH WAS SPECIAL TO SPEND IT WITH THEM. AND THEN AGAIN IN MAY. IT WAS SOON REALIZED THAT LOVE WAS IN THE AIR AND WE BEGAN PRAYING AND THINKING THROUGH HOW WE COULD BRING OUR LIVES TOGETHER. IT WAS SOON DECIDED THAT IT WOULD BEST TO PHYSICALLY BRING OUR LIVES TOGETHER (SINCE THIS WHOLE TIME THEY LIVED IN NC, ME IN TX). SO WE DECIDED THAT THE TWO OF THEM WOULD MOVE TO TX AND WE SETTLED ON THE FIRST OF SEPTEMBER SO MADISYN COULD START THE SCHOOL YEAR OFF.

SO HERE WE ARE TO THIS WEEKEND. BACK IN MAY WE STARTED PLANNING A BEACH VACATION WITH THE THREE OF US AND SOME OF JOANNA'S CLOSE FRIENDS. SO THE PLAN WAS PERFECT. FRIDAY MORNING I TOOK MADISYN OUT ON A DATE (WE ALWAYS HAVE A DATE WHEN I COME TO TOWN) AND WE WENT AND SAW RATATOUIE. FUNNY BY THE WAY, AND RODE A FERRIS WHEEL AND HAD SUBWAY. ON THE WAY HOME I PULLED THE CAR OVER AND TOLD HER I HAD A VERY SERIOUS QUESTION FOR HER. I PULLED OUT THIS ANTIQUE LOCKET I HAD BOUGHT FOR HER WITH A PICTURE OF THE THREE OF US. I GAVE HER THE LOCKET AND ASKED HER IF I COULD BE A PART OF HER FAMILY. IT WAS VERY IMPORTANT TO ME FOR HER TO FEEL LIKE A PART OF WHAT JOANNA AND I HAVE, NOT MERELY ACCESSORY TO IT. SO SHE CRIED AND SAID YES AND I ONLY HAD ONE MORE PERSON TO ASK (EVEN THOUGH I ALREADY KNEW THE ANSWER!).

SO THAT NIGHT (LAST NIGHT) JO AND I WENT TO THIS FREAKING AMAZING SEAFOOD RESTAURANT AND SHARED SOME BLACKENED GROUPER (AMAZING...AS IF YOU CARE). THEN WE HEADED DOWN TO THE BEACH WITH A BLANKET AND A BOTTLE OF WINE AND SAT AND TALKED AND STARRED AT THE STARS FOR AN HOUR OR SO. THEN I TOLD HER I WANTED TO SHOW HER SOMETHING HAD BOUGHT FOR MADISYN. SO I SHOWED HER THE LOCKET AND TOLD HER THAT I HAD ASKED HER IF I COULD BE A PART OF THE FAMILY. (TEARS START FLOWING AT THIS TIME). THEN I SAID, AND I HAVE TO ASK YOU THE SAME QUESTION.... CAN I BE A PART OF YOUR FAMILY, WILL YOU MARRY ME.... *HUGS, KISSES, TEARS....AND A YES FOLLOWED.

AND SO HERE I AM TELLING ALL OF YOU OUR STORY, OR RATHER THE BEGINNING OF OUR STORY!

SO THAT SHOULD ANSWER ANY QUESTIONS YOU HAVE! AND.... I'LL BE POSTING A HILARIOUS VIDEO OF THE WEEKEND LATER ON NEXT WEEK!!!

love...

2007-01-14T16:37:00.000-06:00

lessons in love::
so i've been slammed with the reality of love lately and what it means. i in no means grasp the complexity of this human relational action, but i'm starting to experience lessons in its reality...so here's a start to the lessons

so check this out, the kids above...my nephews. first try and take a look at them and not get overwhelmed with joy [i realize i'm biased but come on]. i've realized as of recently that i love these two guys more than i ever imagined possible. now i know it is required in some sense of an uncle to love his nephews, but i'm just starting to see the reality of this. over the christmas break i got to spend two full weeks with them [cayden on the left--deacon on the right], and for the first time the oldest one now has a concious recognition of my uncleness. the first time that cayden said uncle tim, sit next to me i almost lost it. now i know this is very isignificant to many of you, but living 700 miles from them is hard. here i am in texas and they are currently growing up and experiencing life without a concious realization of who their uncle is. after all they have tons of uncles surrounding them on a constant basis: friends of jamie and aaron take on that role to them. so for that recognition to exist is huge for me. [stick with me for a sec] moving on, i was talking to my sister-in-law shortly after returning from the break and all she simply said was thank you for loving my boys so much, it's very evident. are you kidding me? so of course i lost it again with the realization that (1) yes it is true, and (2) i'm so glad its evident. then two nights ago we're talking on-line again and she was saying how cayden was asking for uncle tim's orange juice. [this is comical only because one night there was a bottle of orange gatorade sitting on the counter and he asked for some. i became aware that it wasn't a good option for him so i simply told him it was mine and then i put it away and that was it] but now 2 weeks later somethign triggered that thought and made him remember that. ok, i'm digressing so let me get to the point asap.

the truth is that we [and i emphasize the i in we] have often completely neutered the term love out of its beauty and glory. just in the last week i can think of the things i've claimed to love: panara bread, coffee, the movie magnolia, when it rains at night, snow patrol, my new jeans [thanks jimmie for the recomendation], fresh mozzarella, and the list goes on. so i say man i love my nephews, or perhaps i love my family or i can't wait to fall in love with that girl God has for me or most importantly i love God. yet in the same line of conversation i can easily mention how much i love the notes and melodies played by a group of guys from iceland or the flavor of the sweet necter of a good cup of coffee? here's some recomendations of what love is to the world:

love is watching someone die -- ben gibbard [what sarah said]

at the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet -- plato

if you have love, you don't need to have anything else, and if you don't have it, it doesn't matter what else you have -- james m. barrie

love is a friendship set to music -- e. joseph cossman

Love is passion, obsession, someone you can't live without. If you don't start with that, what are you going to end up with? Fall head over heels. I say find someone you can love like crazy and who'll love you the same way back. And how do you find him? Forget your head and listen to your heart. -- anthony hopkins [meet joe black]

let's go with this for a second. let's examine love as passion, obsession, something you can't live without [here's where it gets painful]. let's say love is what we spend our time with, what consumes us, what we talk about. [time for self reflection]. now i can honestly say i love my nephews. anyone that spends time with me knows that i talk about them all the time [what can i say? i love having children vicariously through my brother and his wife]. always showing pictures and videos from jamie's blog. it might be annoying to you, but love can't be held in. when you love something/someone you want everyone to know and for them to love them back. take music for instance. when you find that new band that simply rocks your face off, what do you do? do you stay silent about it? do you listen to it by yourself and that's it? no way. you're texting your friends telling them, dude you have to check out this band. we all do that with so many things in life: music, food, lesson learned, relationships...

but when's the last time i have been obessesed, passionate, overwhelmed with my creator that his words and love spews from my pores? check this out, some guys come to jesus and try and get him in trouble by getting him to single out what the greatest commandment is. his simple answer??? come close for this one....love.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength...Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these.

so what the most important thing? love. we [i] have to figure out what this love is about. what does it mean to love god with all our soul, mind and strenght? what does it truly mean to love my neighbor as myself? how is this done? what does this look like to truly experiend love the way it was intended to be?

may we seek to love god, people and ourselves more and more everyday. may we seek to throw off our useless passions of this world and discover what it means to be obsessed and passionate for our creator, our savior...

more to come my friends...

haiti update

2006-11-22T19:17:00.000-06:00

hey guys, just a real quick update...only have a second. the experience here is absolutely amazing (as if i would say any different right?). actually up to this point it's been a struggle dealing with how things have been going and how stuff is done. however just today we've had this huge breakthrough with experiences surrounding people and worship. tonight we sat in this worship service. the beginning of the service was a little awkward since there were 25 strange "blanc" (white) people coming in and not to mention the language barrier. however they started to sing "lord i life your name on high" in english and things broke loose. now i know you're sayign "gee, that song is so old" but for some reason it just came to life. so often i have this misconstrued understading that "well here we go, we're gunna take jesus to haiti..." ha. how rediculous. as if we can do any good on our own....

tonight was simply a reminder and huge awakening experience to the fact that (1) um jesus pretty much created haiti first and so HE'S ALREADY HERE and (2) these people we ran into night worship the same God that we attempt to worship in our homes and churches. tonight we experienced a beautiful vision of what worship truly looks like -- across cultural boundaries, across language barriers, despite color: all the same God, all the same love, all the same worship...unbelievable!

haiti...

2006-11-17T19:49:00.000-06:00

i think there's a total of two people that every read this, but for the two of you, i say thanks! i leave in the morning (6am--i don't think that's considered morning, rather some kind of pre-morning), which really means i have to leave my house at 3.30am...wow, that's exciting! anyways, i'm going to haiti this next week to work with newmissions. they are an organization that supports children in various villages throughout the Leogane plane. it is just 25 miles southwest of the capital of haiti. the mission supports over 6,000 students and their education.

needless to say this needs prayer. i have to be honest and say i'm being very selfish right now. i'm finding myself about to hit an emotional wall. the last 2-3 weeks have been completely insane and emotionally/physically draining. i hate going into a situation like this that will no doubt suck me dry already dry. i have so much on my heart and mind and want to be completely there emotionally/spiritually/physically. i would hate to be there for this experience and have my focus back here at home! so i appreciate your prayers and thoughts so much. talk to you in a week...

time...

2006-11-15T08:28:00.000-06:00

i'm wondering why everything is constituted by time. it seems as though we allow our lives to be ruled by the inevitible ticking of the clock. everything around us is reduced to a schedule. we eat not when we're hungry but when its mean time, we know what time our favorite show is on and what needs to be done so that we can be with so and so to watch it, i live my life looking forward to the weekend and in every moment longing for a time that is not ruled by to-do lists and deadlines. as the end of the semester approaches i find that i have not been very dilegent with my lists and now am drowning in a torential sea of papers and due dates.

but there's more to this life yeah? (i've noticed that i've recently started adding yeah to the end of my sentence, a cross cultural experiment combining the 90's equivilant of yes and the inflective nature of the canadian 'eh?'....odd i know). i digress. there's more right? there has to be. there has to be more to what i'm doing then writing papers, having meetings, eating three square meals a day (okay mom i only eat two), and seeing how long i can stretch the latest batch of laundry!

and then there's love. i've recently been asking God to help me love people more. saturday i'm flying to haiti as an "experiment" in love. i have no idea what i'll be doing, no agenda, no motive, no expectations or alternative selfish motives...just love. but what kind of love could i possibly offer the people i come in contact with when i am in a current state of being emotionally, spiritually, and honestly physically drained? why have i chosen to spread myself so thin that i am now as vibrant as a giant glass of sweet tea in which all the ice has melted and all that remains is a pitifull glass containing mere hints of the once gloriously apetizing substance. when will we truly "cease striving and see God"? check this out from psalms 46:9-11

He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth;
he breaks the bow and shatters the spear,
he burns the shields with fire.

"Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth."

The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.

the NASB translates verse 10 to say "cease striving, and know that i am God." and now to those of us who have to many to-do lists, to many papers to write, diapers to change, meetings to attent, relationships to attend to...may we turn to God, cease our striving, and live in the awarness of his God-ness!

how great...

2006-11-06T19:20:00.000-06:00

it's never ceases to amaze me how so often God can be experienced in some of the most bizaar instances. i remember this summer experiencing the most intense moment of his presence in the face of a mentally disabled child as i spoon-fed her in one of mother teresa's care homes in india. never before have i ever so closely felt the presence and face of Christ right in front of me...and above all of that in the most unlikely circumstances. then today: i attended a memorial service on baylor's campus today for a nineteen year old freshman girl who tragically died while traveling back to school from seeing her boyfriend at another college. today i walked in and we began to sing songs that sang of God's greatness and majesty. i was absolutely dumbfounded as i watched the mother of this girl who had just lost her baby, with joy and intense worship singing with tears in her eyes:

how great is our god, sing with me how great is our god, all will see how great, how great is our god...then sing my soul my savoir God to thee; how great thou are, how great thou are!

worth...

2006-11-05T17:45:00.000-06:00

it's funny how it often takes a divine slap across the face to get you back to reality. some call this a reality check, i call it ouch. i tend to think that i have everything under control and 'life' all figured out until i realize once again that i have no control over anything whatsoever and in fact relying on myself leads me nowhere beyond myself. a couple years ago i found myself in a place i wasn't supposed to be [we're talking about stuff dealing with walk, talk, behavior, lifestyle kind of stuff here]. i was even approached by this very large intimidating woman who very prophetically had the audacity to tell me to my face that she knew i wasn't where i was supposed to be and that i was trapped in a life that wasn't fulfilling or bringing glory to anyone but myself. so i started to wrestle with this whole identity crisis i was facing, knowing for certain that there was nothing good about the 'place' in life i found myself.

i was talking to a friend one day, expressing how desparate i was to be on the 'right path' and he gently said, 'so why don't you ask God to put you there?' he continued by adding, 'tim, if you're really desparate to be where God wants you to be then you've got to ask him to do whatever it takes to get you there.' i laughed it off and said, 'yeah i'll get right on that.'

in august of 2004 i went to go see/hear my brother's band play in austin at a student event. i was running late because that's what i do of course and when i showed up i could tell the band was already playing and i had obviously missed out on quiet a bit. i listened as they were playing one of their new songs i had only heard once before. the lyrics go like this...

-----------
all to my God and king
all to my God and king
it's the glory of your majesty
it's the mystery of your love for me

my heart will say, my heart will sing
you are the Christ, you are the king
it's the glory of your majesty
it's the mystery of your love for me

i find my worth in your majesty
i find my worth in your majesty
i find myself in you've captured me
i find myself in you've captured me
-----------

as i approached the door i could tell it was the soft melodic 'come to jesus' part in the song where the lyrics ceased and the wise exhortations of my brother proceeded. the first words i heard from his mouth as i walked in the door were these: 'so what are you finding your worth it? are you finding your worth in relationships, success, possessions? all of these let you down, but the only true place to find our worth is in him, in his majesty, in the fact that he has captured us and sacrificed himself for us...'

[que the sound effect for the divine slap in the face] that night i remember very vididly asking God to do whatever it takes to bring me to that place of finding my worth solely in him: even if that means stripping every comfort i have and everything i rely on for worth and bringing me to my knees in desparation if that's what it takes.

**general warning: if you ever pray that God would strip away everything that is getting in the way, be forewarned that he might follow through on this prayer and actually strip you of every comfort in life taking away whatever is in the way brining you to you to a faceplant of desparation before his majesty and eternal worth...consider yourself warned**

even as i listen to the song right now to make sure i have the lyrics right, my heart is swept away to this moment of truth, to this life changing moment i exerienced 2 years ago and still encounter daily, this moment when we realize that we too often place our worth in everything that loses value. even Christ straight up told us not to store up treasures [the idea of having worth and meaning] in things of this world where moth and rust destroy but instead we are to store up tresures in heaven where nothing is destroyed. see, the harsh reality is that when this life fades and the music of our life's symphony hits the final sustaining note on the cello [a romantic idea of death isn't it?] everything we've placed our worth and value in other than those things of above, are meaningless. the things we've found worth in become absolutely worth-less. yet why is it that i continually try and place and find my worth in material possessions, relationships, success, or some sort of fame: all of which in the end let me down at some point and leave me drowning in my own cesspool of emptiness. what is it going to take to finally realize that the thing i should consistantly and constantly find my worth in is the one who will never let me down, who will never fail, who promises to never leave me or forsake me!